


It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses an Eye

by ViolaRosa98



Series: Voltron Sickfic Collection [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Blind Keith (Voltron), Blindness, Drunk Keith (Voltron), Gen, Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, Insecure Keith (Voltron), Legitimate science, Poisoning, Protective Shiro (Voltron), Racism, Samoan Hunk (Voltron), Sick Keith (Voltron), There's so much evidence that Hunk is good at chemistry and y'all are sleeping on it, Underage Drinking, broganes, diplomacy gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 19:28:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15516969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViolaRosa98/pseuds/ViolaRosa98
Summary: The fact that Keith is part Galra has started to spread throughout the universe, and the Vardeyans, a race that Team Voltron is attempting to convince to join the Coalition, aren't thrilled that Voltron's second-in-command is Galran. / A.k.a., Keith gets drunk on an alien cocktail chock full of methanol because the Vardeyan King put Galran catnip in it and goes blind, and Hunk saves the day using science.





	It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses an Eye

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for taking so long to get this chapter out! I had to consult my friend, Kassidy, a lot to make sure the science was legit, as I don't like science... at all. Lol.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! This chapter centers on Keith, and takes place sometime between S2E9 and S2E10.

            "Here."

            When Keith turns in the direction of the voice, he comes face-to-neck with Hunk. He tilts his head up to meet the Yellow Paladin's gaze, then raises one eyebrow at the muffin-like thingy he's all but shoving into Keith's mouth. "What's that?" Keith asks.

            "It's bread — or the closest thing to it I've found on this planet, anyway," Hunk answers. "If you're gonna be drinking _that_ —." He looks with overt disgust at the reddish-purple drink in Keith's hand. "—you ought to eat something that will soak up the alcohol."

            "I ate supper," Keith argues, shoving the ersatz muffin back toward Hunk. "I just skipped dessert 'cause I don't like sweets."

            "I know, but dude, that's, like, your fourth glass of… what is that, anyway? It smells like peppermint-flavored vodka," Hunk responds.

            "It's good," Keith grumbles in protest before taking another swig of it. "It tastes like the moonshine my pop used to drink, but with a… a Christmas-y flavor, I guess?" He shrugs. "I like it."

            "Well, still," Hunk insists, his tone somewhat chastising. "You should eat some bread to avoid getting too drunk." He glances over to where Coran, Shiro, and Allura are conversing with this civilization's King, then turns back toward Keith and grins. "Allura will have our heads if we do anything to embarrass her in front of the Vardeyan King."

            "… but Shiro's the head," Keith counters. He cocks his head at Hunk and blinks, then glances around the large room, a bewildered expression on his face all the while. "Where is Allura, anyway?" he asks.

            "She's over there," Hunk answers, pointing to where the Alteans and Shiro are standing on the far side of the room. "She's with Coran and Shiro."

            "I don't—I mean, I, uh…" Keith starts, only to cut himself off. He squints in the direction Hunk had pointed in, then shakes his head. "It's, um… it's kind of… fuzzy… past you."

            "… okay, Keith, I think you've had enough of this alien Christmas moonshine."

            Hunk plucks the glass out of Keith's hands, and Keith grumbles something unintelligible in protest before lunging at Hunk, who sidesteps the Red Paladin more easily than he should be able to.

            _He's definitely drunk_ , Hunk sighs silently as Keith misjudges the distance between Hunk and himself and crashes to the floor.

            When Keith glances over his shoulder to look at Hunk, the look of confusion on his face gives the Yellow Paladin pause. "Hunk?" he asks tentatively.

            "Yeah…?"

            "Where are you?"

            "What? I'm right here, Keith, in front of you."

            When Keith doesn't answer — he just continues to whip his head back and forth, his eyes getting wider with each passing second — Hunk crouches down beside him and grabs his wrist.

            … which is, apparently, the wrong move; as soon as Hunk's fingers wrap around Keith's wrist, Keith _screams_ and tries desperately to wrestle himself free.

            _Oh, crap_ , Hunk thinks before adding aloud, "it's just me, Keith! Calm down!"

            "What's going on over here?!" Shiro demands, rushing over and crouching down behind Keith.

            The other members of Team Voltron circle around the three crouched paladins, and as the air around them shifts accordingly, Keith bristles. "Shiro?" he calls unsurely.

            "I'm right here, Keith," Shiro assures him. "What happened?"

            "Where are you, Shiro?" Keith half-asks, half-cries. "I can't see. I can't see _anything_!"

            "The rumors are true, then," the Vardeyan King observes as he joins the paladins' circle. He glances at Allura, then shakes his head and shifts his gaze toward Keith. "The Red Paladin is Galran."

            "What are you _talking_ about?" Shiro demands, turning around and standing up so that he can stare down at the King.

            The King ignores Shiro's question and instead turns to address Allura. "How can you ask us to aid you in your quest to vanquish the Galra when you have a Galran paladin, Princess?" he asks.

            "Well, I… um…"

            _You've gotta be kidding me…_ Hunk grumbles silently as he glances between Allura and Keith. It's no secret that Allura's been avoiding and ignoring Keith ever since he admitted to having Galran heritage… but now is so not the time for the Princess to give into her ill will toward the Red Paladin.

            "I don't know what you've heard, your Majesty, but Keith was raised on _Earth_ , just like we were. He is _nothing_ like the Galrans fighting for Zarkon's Empire," Shiro growls, stepping closer to the King as Coran lays a hand on Allura's shoulder and whispers something in her ear.

            "He is still Galran," the King argues. "You will not be able to defeat the Galra Empire if you allow a Galran to pilot a Voltron lion."

            "What are you suggesting?" Shiro asks, his voice scarily low.

            "… Shiro?"

            Shiro glances over his shoulder at Keith, and although his expression softens ever so slightly at the sight of his closest friend, he doesn't move from where he's currently invading the King's personal space. "I'm here, Keith."

            "Not for long," the King chuckles before quickly adding, "guards! Now!"

            Shiro opens his mouth to demand an explanation, but before he can get even a single word out, four Vardeyans jump down from a hatch in the ceiling and tackle him. Dozens of other Vardeyans, meanwhile, appear seemingly out of thin air and surround the rest of Team Voltron.

            "What's going on?!" Keith half-cries, half-demands as he raises one arm to block his face from attacks he can't see coming.

            _Oh, just the usual…_ Hunk groans as he tugs his helmet on and grabs one of the Vardeyan guards by the ankles, tripping him before he can get to Keith.

            He scrambles over the downed guard and, as he crawls his way toward Keith, glances around at the other members of his team. He sees that Lance, aiming to injure, not kill, is sniping at the ceiling joists on which several Vardeyan guards are perched, while Pidge is taking care of the Vardeyans on the ground. He also sees that Coran has managed to commandeer one of the Vardeyans' energy blasters, and is standing guard at Allura's backside to make sure no one gets to her while she yells at the King for poisoning one of her paladins.

            … and although all of the paladins make for scary opponents, Hunk can't help but want to say a quick prayer for the Vardeyans fighting Shiro, as Shiro's arm is covered in their bluish-purple blood. He's singlehandedly fighting the Vardeyans attempting to approach Keith from the left side of the room — and given the fact that Shiro's just one man, he's doing a damn good job.

            It's easy to become mesmerized by the way Shiro's body moves as he fights, so before he can, Hunk turns back toward Keith. "Keith," he says, and it's harder than Hunk thought it'd be to keep his voice soft but still loud enough to be heard over the commotion, "it's me, Hunk. I'm—uh, I mean… can I grab your hand?"

            "Okay."

            _He didn't put up a fight, fa'afetai i le Atua_ , Hunk thinks as he raises his energy shield and grabs Keith's wrist. He holds Keith close so that he, too, will be protected from the blasts raining down on them from the ceiling, and during a lull in the gunfire, he asks him where his helmet is.

            "I… I don't know," Keith answers. He chews on his bottom lip for a couple of ticks, then asks a question of his own. "What… what's going on, Hunk?"

            "Well, uh, a bunch of aliens are trying to kill you," Hunk answers honestly.

            "… because I'm Galran?"

            _"Hunk!"_ Shiro grunts through the comm. line, and Hunk thanks God that he doesn't have to answer Keith's question right now. _"You got Keith?"_

            "Yeah, I've got him. I'm gonna try to get him back to the Castle," Hunk answers.

            _"Good idea. When—."_ Shiro grunts again, and Hunk looks up just in time to see Shiro body-slam another Vardeyan. _"When you get to the Castle, bring Keith to the med. bay. We'll be there as soon as we deal with the Vardeyans."_

            "Copy that, Shiro."

            "Hunk! You've got incoming!"

            The addressed paladin turns around to see not just Pidge getting thrown backwards by the force of a large laser beam, but two Vardeyans charging him and Keith as well — so he lunges at the closer one, grabs his wrist, and flings him into the other one. He watches the two aliens crash into a table, then rushes back over to Keith. He reaches the Red Paladin just in time to shield him from another incoming laser beam.

            When the laser beam disappears, Hunk lifts his head above his shield to search the room for the nearest exit. He spots it in the corner of the opposite wall, past where Lance is standing in the middle of the room, still trying to pick off the Vardeyans crouched on the ceiling joists.

            _Why do all of my friends completely disregard their own safety?_ Hunk grouses as he opens a comm. line with Lance.

            _"Hey, Hunk. You got Mullet?"_

            "Yeah, I've got him. I'm gonna take him back to the Castle. The exit's past you. Cover us, please?"

            _"You got it, big guy!"_

            "Thanks, _uso_ ," Hunk grins. "Oh, and for God's sake, Lance, don't leave yourself exposed like that," he adds as an afterthought, his anxiety making his tone sharper than is necessary. "One paladin down is already one too many!"

            He closes the line before the Blue Paladin can respond, but out of the corner of his eye, he sees Lance duck for cover behind an overturned table.

            "Okay, Keith," Hunk says, turning back toward the Red Paladin. "I'm gonna pick you up and carry you, alright? We've gotta get back to the Castle… preferably sooner rather than later."

            "… okay."

            While Keith's acquiescence shocks Hunk, he shakes his surprise off, knowing he doesn't have time to think about poetic things like Keith being more open with him after their disgusting voyage into the belly of a weblum, and dissipates his energy shield long enough to scoop the Red Paladin up in a fireman's carry. He stands up once he's sure he's got a strong grip on Keith, then raises his shield again and sprints toward the exit. When Hunk reaches the door a couple of ticks later, he crouches down so as to enable Keith to slide off his shoulders.

            "Activate your shield," Hunk commands as he helps Keith into an upright position again, "and keep it in front of you."

            It takes a tick or two for Keith's shield to materialize, but once it does, Hunk dissipates his own shield and summons his bayard. He moves so that he's standing beside Keith, rather than in front of him like he's been doing, so that he doesn't accidentally whack the blind paladin with his cannon, then starts firing at the feet of the dozen or so aliens standing between them and the Castle.

            While the Vardeyans are preoccupied with avoiding the blasts Hunk had directed at them, the two paladins make a break for the Castle. It's easy enough to dodge the Vardeyans, but the Castle is still a ways away, and so the second Hunk reaches the front plaza, he skids to a halt. The sudden stop sends Keith crashing into Hunk, but he regains his composure quickly. "Hunk?" he asks.

            "I'm here. We're… we're safe now," Hunk pants. "Just… gimme a… a second."

            He takes another gulp of air, then glances over his shoulder to make sure that the doors to the front plaza are closed. He breathes a sigh of relief upon seeing that they automatically locked behind them, then turns back toward Keith. "Okay, I'm good. Let's get you to the med. bay."

            He grabs Keith's wrist again, then leads him to the Castle's medical wing, helps him onto the bed, and opens up a comm. line with Allura. "Princess?" he asks.

            "Allura's here?"

            Hunk shakes his head no, then, remembering that Keith can't see what he's doing, answers verbally. "No, she's not. I'm talking to her through the comms.," he explains.

            "Oh."

            _"Hello, Hunk,"_ Allura responds, her voice as calm and smooth as ever. _"Are you with Keith?"_

            "Yeah, we just entered the med. bay. How're things over there?"

            _"Shiro has the King in a headlock, and Lance and Pidge have herded the Vardeyans that were outside inside and are standing guard over them."_ She sighs, then, as an afterthought, adds, _"are you hurt?"_

            "We're fine," Hunk answers, even though he's got a feeling Allura was only inquiring about _him_ — much like how she only thanked _him_ after they came back from their scaultrite-retrieving mission. "Well, _I'm_ fine. Keith's still blind."

            _"I assumed as much. Can you tell me what Keith was drinking?"_

            "Well, I don't know what it's called, but it was some reddish-purple liquid that smelled like peppermint-flavored vodka."

            _"Peppermint-flavored vodka?"_

            "Yeah, it's, um… something alcoholic, like nunvill, but it smelled really, uh… cool, and fresh, and, uh—."

            Allura sends a visual of the drink through their helmets' visors. _"Is this it?"_ she asks.

            "Yeah, that's it."

            _"I'm scanning its composition now and… okay, I just sent you the data."_

            It doesn't take long for Hunk to spot a very unwelcome ball-and-stick model amongst the data. He groans at the sight of it.

            "What is it?" Keith asks.

            _"What do you see, Hunk?"_ Allura inquires.

            "The drink contains a substantial amount of methanol. It's a type of alcohol, like ethanol, but it's far more toxic," Hunk explains. "It's lethal to humans in large quantities, and as little as ten milliliters of it can damage a human's optic nerve."

            _"It's also highly toxic to the Galra!"_ Coran chips in. _"I've heard stories of some Galrans going permanently blind after ingesting little more than a drop!"_

            Hunk glances at Keith out of the corner of his eye and gulps. _I hope he can't hear Coran_ , he thinks as he refocuses his attention on the Altean advisor's words.

            _"I'm also detecting the presence of a substance whose pheromone is highly attractive to Galrans,"_ Coran continues. _"If Keith was attracted to this drink, that's probably the reason why."_

            "… so the Vardeyans put catnip in Keith's drink," Hunk translates.

            "I'm not a cat!" Keith cries indignantly.

            _"Essentially… yes."_

            "It's good to know that something like that exists," Hunk states as he shrugs off all of the ideas regarding how he could weaponize catnip that are currently stampeding through his brain. "Anyway… should I put Keith in a pod? The methanol seems to have damaged his optic nerve, so the best thing to do would be to put him in a pod so it can heal the nerve, right?"

            _"Well, actually, Number Two, you have to flush the methanol out of Keith's system before you can do that. The damage to Keith's optic nerve wasn't caused by an injury, but rather by a poison of sorts, so if you put him in a pod without flushing the poison out first, you'll only be treating a symptom — not the actual problem. He'll go blind again as soon as he exits suspended animation."_

            "Okay, so how can we flush the methanol out of his system?"

            _"Well, first, you have to—."_

            There's a rustling sound on the other end of the line, then some shouting. Hunk catches the words "Galran," "threat," and "show you" before the line goes dead.

            "Coran?!" Hunk half-calls, half-cries. "Coran! Answer me!"

            He doesn't answer; neither does Allura.

            "What's going on, Hunk?" Keith demands.

            "The line's dead," Hunk answers, sighing. He pulls his helmet off and tucks it underneath his arm, then runs his fingers through his hair. "It's fine, though. I…" _I have no idea what to do._ "I know what to do."

            "You do?"

            The blatantly [and uncharacteristically] hopeful tone of Keith's voice hurts Hunk's heart, and he has to swallow the lump in his throat before he's able to respond.

            "Yeah," Hunk affirms, and there's only the faintest hint of hesitation in his voice despite all the anxiety pooling in his gut. "'Course I do."

            _Okay, Hunk, think_ , Hunk commands himself. _Alcohol dehydrogenase converts methanol to formaldehyde, which aldehyde dehydrogenase then converts to formic acid… so I have to stop the conversation to formaldehyde._

            _… but is that even possible?_

            Hunk sighs.

            _I don't think I can stop the toxification process… but maybe I can interrupt it?_

            He bites his lip and glances at Keith. He's got a deep-set frown on his face, and he's biting his fingernails anxiously. It's unnerving to see him so visibly rattled.

            _What if I introduce ethanol to the system?_ Hunk wonders. _It'll activate the alcohol dehydrogenase enzyme faster than the methanol will, and ADH will convert the methanol to acetaldehyde instead of formaldehyde…_

            _… yeah, that'll work._

            "Okay, I know what to do!" Hunk declares, much more confidently this time. "This is going to sound crazy, Keith, but I, uh, I need to get you drunk."

            "You _what_?"

            "It sounds crazy, I know," Hunk says. He raises his hands in a placating gesture, even though Keith can't see him, then proceeds to explain himself. "It'll work, though. We can use ethanol to competitively inhibit the first step in the methanol toxification process — or, in other words, the ethanol will do what the methanol in your system is _trying_ to do, but faster, and with a much less toxic outcome."

            "… whatever you say, Hunk."

            "I'm glad we're on the same page," Hunk chuckles, knowing full well that Keith didn't understand a word he just said. "Now, get up; we're going to the kitchen."

            The Red Paladin slides off the bed much more carefully than he would if he had his sight, then holds his hand out in a silent plea for help. Hunk smiles at the sight, then takes his hand and guides him out of the med. bay and into the kitchen. He helps Keith onto the island in the middle of the room, then starts rummaging through the fridge for nunvill. It's a disgusting drink, but it's one of the few things in the Castle with ethanol in it.

            He pours some into a glass, then walks over to Keith and holds the glass up to his lips. "This is nunvill," he informs the blind paladin. "I know it's gross, but it's got ethanol in it, so you've got to drink it."

            The disgusted expression that comes over Keith's face almost makes Hunk laugh — but only almost. He suppresses his laugh and, wearing a grossed-out expression of his own, watches as Keith downs all the nunvill in the glass in one swig. He shudders as he swallows the liquid, then shoves the glass forward. Hunk takes it from him.

            "I still can't see anything," Keith complains.

            "You won't for a while yet. I'm not sure how much methanol got into your system, but it was enough to damage your optic nerve," Hunk replies calmly. "When there's no more methanol in your system, you can go in a pod and get your optic nerve healed, but Coran said we have to flush the—."

            _"Hunk?"_

            "The comms. are working again!" Hunk cries gleefully. He accepts the comm. call from Allura and slips on his helmet to hear her better. "What's up, Allura?" he asks. "What happened? Are you all okay?"

            _"Yes, we're all alright,"_ Allura answers. _"The King said something about Keith being part Galra, and Shiro…"_ She sighs. _"Shiro activated his arm and asked the King if he wanted to be introduced to_ his _Galran side, which caused another fight to break out. We ended it quickly, though, and we're all on our way back to the Castle now."_ She pauses for a tick, then adds, _"we will not be aligning with the Vardeyans."_

            "I'd say I'm sorry to hear that, but honestly, after what they did to Keith, I'm not," Hunk responds.

            _"The Vardeyans would have been valuable allies, but an alliance cannot be negotiated if one party does not trust the other,"_ Allura avers, and Hunk has to bite his tongue to keep himself from pointing out the irony of that statement to her. _"Anyway, please bring Keith to the med. bay — if you're not there already, that is. Coran wants to do a scan to determine the concentration of methanol in his system. We'll be there shortly."_

            "You got it, Princess," Hunk replies. "I'll see you soon."

            He closes the comm. line with Allura, then pours Keith another glass of nunvill and dives into an explanation of the situation. "I'm not sure whether it was their decision or ours, but the Vardeyans won't be joining the Coalition." He hands Keith the glass he'd poured for him, then adds, "here's some more nunvill. When you're done drinking it, we'll head back to the med. bay. The rest of the team will be back soon, and Allura said Coran wants to do a scan of your body to see how much methanol is still in your system."

            "Okay," Keith shrugs. He downs the second glass of nunvill dutifully (but with as much revulsion as he did the first glass), then slams it on the countertop, slides off the island, and grabs Hunk's hand.

            The two paladins are halfway to the med. bay when Keith breaks the almost-eerie silence with, "do you think Allura will ever see me as anything other than a Galran?"

            The uncharacteristic diffidence in Keith's voice gives Hunk pause, and when he turns his head so as to look at the Red Paladin more directly, his eyes are drawn to Keith's dilated pupils, drawn-together brows, and paler-than-usual skin. It's odd to see Keith visibly afraid, considering his aggressive nature, but Hunk doesn't blame him for being scared.

            "She already does, Keith," Hunk answers, his tone serious. "She sees you as a paladin."

            "… even though I'm Galran?"

            "Yes. You're still _you_ , Keith," Hunk asserts. "You're still you, just… well, now we know you're attracted to catnip."

            "It wasn't catnip!" Keith cries indignantly as he wrestles his hand out of Hunk's. "I'm not a cat!"

            "You sure?" Hunk snickers. "'Cause I _distinctly_ remember you practically _inhaling_ that peppermint moonshine."

            " _You_ of all people have no right to criticize me for eating or drinking strange alien foods, Hunk," Keith deadpans.

            "Okay, I was right," Hunk boasts, and the ear-to-ear grin on his face contrasts with the serious tone of his voice. "Galran Keith is _definitely_ funnier than human Keith."

            The intentional callback to the bonding moment the two paladins had during their trip into the belly of the weblum elicits a grin from Keith, but he immediately crosses his arms over his chest and tries to assume a surlier expression.

            He fails, though, and the failed attempt brings a smile to Hunk's own face.

            "Come on," Hunk encourages softly, laying a hand on Keith's shoulder and guiding him further down the hall. "We're almost to the med. bay, buddy."

**Author's Note:**

>  _Fa'afetai i le Atua_ is a Samoan phrase that roughly translates to "thanks to God."  
>  _Uso_ is a Samoan word used to refer to your same-sex sibling, or to your same-sex friend who you view as being _like_ your sibling.


End file.
